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The Life Of "Mars".
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2019-01-19 02:39:03 (UTC)

1-19-2019

Saturday January 19th

I woke up to some pretty annoying stuff this morning. The sound of my mom spraying the god damn fucking walls again. The moment I walk off she quickly darts off down the hallway and into the kitchen to avoid me because she god damn knows how much it pisses me off. Not only is she doing something that she annoys me, damages the house and all that, it also woke me up. Still, I'm keeping my cool. I walk to the kitchen and say "Look, can you please not do that? It's so annoying and I've told you countless times to stop."

She loses her fucking shit starts screaming and yelling. Keep in mind that it's gotta be like five or six in the morning. Before I can even get a word in she slams the door and like last time, says some shit about killing somebody. I just walk off saying to myself "what the fuck is wrong with you?" I already know what's wrong. She's fucking legitimately Skizofrenic.

I try and go back to sleep but everytime I nearly drift off almost as if it was fucking timed or some shit I hear her yelling to herself and what sounds like some banging. I checked the walls in the living room later and I don't see any damage so I don't know what that sound was.

I ended up sleeping in for a bit, even though I didn't stay up late last night, so I assume that whole thirty second interaction genuinely exhausted me.

When I woke up she tried to apologise saying how much she loves me and all that. I'm not really one for grudges but come the fuck on. You know what you're doing is upsetting me, but then you get pissed at me for getting upset.

I really don't want to live here anymore. I'm turning 18 in just a few days. I don't think I know anyone my age who's moved out at 18, and in all honesty I'm rather hopeless so it's going to be hard to pull off. But I don't want to stay here for the rest of the year. Not at all.