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2019-01-09 09:02:11 (UTC)

This morning I received a text ..

This morning I received a text message from C.C. saying, "Don't ever contact me again." I felt more confused than hurt. I tried to understand where he was coming from; his state of mind, for him to send such a message. Yet I had the turn for being cold and wintry that I did not send any response, nor do I think I ever will. He is receiving nothing but complete silence on my end. There is an upside of my losing him forever. For with him lies that demon of pleasure and death.
Father and mother stayed up until three in the morning last night watching Jack Ryan, I think, on Amazon Prime. Yet they rose up early despite of it, around six; father said. They had gone to the market. When I woke up around 9AM, mother had the orange chicken and the fresh lumpia well on the way. I slept at 3AM last night as well and woke up at 9AM, desirous of wanting more sleep. But much to my chagrin, I grabbed my phone and read C.C.'s text message which electrified my consciousness that I found my brain at once wide awake. I felt groggy and lethargic upon waking up and I knew that I would be dragging my feet for the entire day, which I did.
Worked at M.H. today. An old acquaintance, I.M. was there, with whom I caught up with talk. I bought him lunch from I.P.'s: subway-like sandwiches, which we ate inside the D.O.N's office. I.M. finds G.V. cute, I suppose. But I can talk sense with I.M. and I suppose he values my opinion. Also worked alongside J.M., whose charm and cuteness I find diminishing. Yet such is the case with most people; it seems. Upon first meeting, for everything about them is new, I find people, for instance, handsome, attractive, or even powerful. Yet when the thread of their lives rub against mine through time spent together, through work, for instance, then the supposed prized perception of their charm gradually wears off. For I begin to perceive rahter their humanity, their flaws, their imperfections, and even their ugliness. J.M. has tattoos on his arm. I could not bring to stare long at them but it reads something like Jesus is Lord, or God, or something to that effect. G.V. shy and timid like a dormouse; even looks and talks like one; her voice soft and high-pitched; innocent, ignorant, who needs to get out more; it feels, as if she's lacking life and experience. The two M. sisters worked as CNAs on the floor and I felt ashamed on their behalf. For they were both demoted, their position prior being as desk clerks and social service workers. For some reason I couldn't bring myself to make eye contact with them, let alone start a conversation with them, when they dragged with them the CNA cart with soiled linens and soiled diapers. D.V. lost a tooth and looks as if all health and comfort had left him; poor thing. He is like a walking zombie, a skeleton borne with thin and wrinkled skin. But what can you expect from someone who obviously does meth? I.M. and I talked over about this. I.M. said about the workers in the kitchen doing drugs as well. And I felt a sense of execration among these creatures when I'm busy and have little time for leisure, when life has so much to offer...
Anyhow, came home from work to find mother sleeping in the couch. Walked S. around the apartment complex. Ate some baked macaroni which mother cooked, coupled with red wine...So to bed. Oh, there are several significant things-to-do that I must soon focus my attention upon. Getting my oil change and my car looked at. Also my tooth. Then there is STD and HIV testing...Perhaps life will remain unchanged, or that the wheel of life would turn upside down.