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The Life Of "Mars".
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2018-11-15 13:00:59 (UTC)


Friday November 16th

It's been really hot recently, since it's pretty much Summer now and all. A few months back the next door neighbor cut down a bunch of the trees that were blocking the sun from coming in my room. It was alright for awhile, and was actually even good during Winter, but now that it's Summer almost anytime of day except in the mornings my room is the hottest in the house. Even now at 2AM it feels pretty hot and I've got the fan going.

I didn't really enjoy Fallout 76 that much, it doesn't really matter since I got it gameshared anyway. I tried to play Warlord today on For Honor and he's definitely good in 1v1 situations but anytime I'm out numbered he doesn't really have any good moves that can help him out. Shaman is eh. I could definitely use her if I bothered to learn her. I just went back to playing Shugoki. I've got him to rep 7 now. I'll just keep trying to get him up to rep 10 while saving up for the Shaolin Monk.

A few months back we got a new person in our group named Jay. He's only fourteen and sometimes I'll make the mistake of expecting him to be more mature then what he actually is. We met him on Rainbow Six Siege when me James Ian and William were all playing.

Anyway, he's had some issues recently and even attempted suicide. I wouldn't say me and him are particularly close I mean I we've barely had any one on one conversations and I see him the least outta me William Ian and James, but I've been trying to give him some advice.

Basically his own different online friend group (from what I take it he doesn't really have any close real life friends) is really fucking toxic to him. That's what I understand at least. A lot of them are made up of little kids as well. Like, thirteen and twelve years old. I've told Jay straight up that I think they're all toxic and immature, and that he has worth as a person and shouldn't surround himself with people who are supposed to be his friends but end up stressing him out. Of course, there's a fucking girl involved too. I'd say almost never online date. It doesn't work. You get hung up and sad. I didn't tell him that I think online dating is stupid, I understand how much you can genuinely care for somebody who you don't know in real life, but she's playing with his emotions it's Soo easy for me to see that. Hell even William agreed with me that he should get out of that group. I guess he's reluctant because he's known them for so long and in the past they've helped him through shit and he says he doesn't understand how they could suddenly turn on him like that. I don't know either. I told him people can just switch up, that it happens sometimes. I don't know how much of what I said he took seriously but I hope he does realize they're not good for him and gets out.

I read over some of my old entries last night. It's kind of weird to see old stuff I was upset about that I don't care about anymore. Mostly me being sad about Hayley and Kayla. My old entries were probably a lot more interesting since I actually did stuff last year. I know I tried to give a lot of them cool sounding entry names because I wanted them to sound more like stories in a way. Now I kind of can't be bothered. Besides, I dunno how long I can keep giving mudane entries about everyday life a interesting entry name.

I guess it's nice to see that eventually most of the things that upset me will probably fade away. Hell, I don't think I would of remembered of the things I said I felt if it weren't for those entries. I have no idea what Kayla is doing these days. She doesn't post to Facebook or Instagram often, and even then I don't check my personal Instagram that much anyway. I deleted Snapchat awhile back as well so I don't know what she's doing. I don't think she's friends with Lillie anymore. I don't think they had a falling out or anything, I think they just grew apart. I know Kayla started being friends with that one Stacy girl she told me about when we were talking. Lillie has a boyfriend now too.

Laura has a boyfriend as well, I think they've actually been together for a few months. I haven't spoken to her since January as well. Me and Jess haven't spoken since we had sex together. I don't think it was like an awkward thing or anything, I don't find it awkward at least. It's more me and her never really texted anyway. I mean, at one point we did but I usually just left her on read because I didn't really like texting. Plus, she lives far away so there's been no chance at a random encounter anyway.

Hayley I know had a boyfriend a few months back but they broke up. From what I gather I think he broke up with her because she said something that hurt him, or something. I'm not entirely sure. We haven't spoken in months either. I know I tried to at one point but I couldn't be bothered to keep the conversation going so it stopped pretty fast. I think she's been good though. I haven't spoken to Shane for awhile either, he and I were actually supposed to get together and drink awhile back but when the day came we both never messaged each other. About two weeks ago he messaged me on one of my Instagrams saying he missed me. For whatever reason I didn't even open the message. I haven't even logged into that Instagram since he messaged me either. I don't know why I just, didn't feel like replying.

I ran into Liam and Callum awhile back in a For Honor game, surprising place for a reunion. They're both down in Christchurch and still best friends I guess. Callum and Shane don't talk to each other either. Tyler was in a party with me Ian and William not too long ago when they were playing The Forest together. Me and him didn't really talk to each other but we said a few things.

Kahlos I wasn't really ever too close with but he messaged me awhile back. We talked for a little but again I couldn't really be bothered keeping a conversation. I think he's living with his aunty now. His brother Deveraux, the one I met at a party last year, goes to Ian's course. Actually Ian said he saw Kahlos there. I saw on Facebook that Kahlos has a job now so that's cool, I don't know what it is though.

I remember there were some online friends I played with a bit last year that I fell out of touch with as well. Aaron, Aiden. Actually I think I saw a post Aiden made where he said his real name was Abraham. I guess he was lying about his name or something?

I talked with Raven awhile back. He gave birth to her daughter which she named Lucci and her and Harly are back together luckily.

Shit. Besides from Ian I've pretty most totally fallen out of contact with everyone I used to be friends with. I'm sure I'll probably go back to being more social next year when I get to interact with other kids but shit Ian probably is my only friend now. In real life I mean, I count my online friends as real friends.

Well I should probably go to sleep now, I'll probably get woken up by either the chickens or the ducks around 7am so that'll be fun.