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The Life Of "Mars".
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2018-10-18 19:50:24 (UTC)


Friday October 19th

For Honor has been a lot of fun recently, especially playing as Peacekeeper since I pretty much know how to play her completely to the point where I can win the majority of 1v1 fights I find myself in, unless the guy is like really good at feinting his attacks. I've heard Arumusha is pretty easy to defend against but I always seem to fall for his fient attacks.

I've still been keeping up to date with my workout schedule, that being working out every second day and having a break in between. I guess since I'm only in the second week of it I'm still looking at it like it's a chore. I need to get out of that mindset because I keep waking up thinking "oh I don't wanna do it today." Even though it only takes me about twenty minutes and really isn't that hard. Actually I'm almost concerned with how easy I'm finding it. I mean it was never that difficult in the first place, but in the past I'd usually at least feel some type of burn or whatever. I felt that the first time I started again but after I haven't felt it. I might think about upping the intensity later.

I haven't gotten a lot of sleep recently, mostly because my mom has gotten into the habit of impulsively cleaning the hallway and spare room next to mine at 6AM in the morning, which wakes me up. I got pretty fed up with it so last night before I went to bed I asked my mom not do it because of the lack of sleep I've been getting because she's been waking me up and she said she wouldn't.. only for me to again be woken up from her cleaning.

I got pretty fucking annoyed and my entire body felt like death so I walked out and said "Seriously how many fucking times do I have to ask you not to wake me up? Fuck off I'm trying to sleep." This isn't even me sleeping in till like mid day. I'd annoy me if I got woken up but I wouldn't have that much of a right to be mad if I got woken up around then but come on six in the fucking morning there's no reason to wake me up. I don't see how fucking hard it is for her to do something do fucking simple as to wait for a few damn hours.

When I got mad at her she got that wild look in her eyes and angrily paced back back and forth in the spare room for a second before she went to go hit the window only to stop herself before impact. She then half ran half skipped down the fucking hallway all angry and shit. I love my mom but honestly I can't take her crazy shit much longer I know I'm getting closer and closer to my breaking point where I'm eventually gonna flip my fucking shit. I don't even care about openly getting annoyed with her now that I've told Ian about her.

If we're being honest, I don't even feel fully safe in this house anymore with the amount of times she's reached to throw shit like plates at me. I get that when she's not being fucking crazy, she's a good mom.

After watching her run down the hallway I layed back in bed and wondered what life would be like if I were to end up in foster care. In my experience it was pretty full. For whatever reason a lot of the houses always seemed to be really against shit like video games and what not. But at least it's a stable environment. Thing is I don't think I'd even be able to get in one at this point because I'm almost eighteen which means I'm gonna be a legal adult. But I don't actually know how that all works.

I started thinking about different members of my family, probably out of the memory of staying with my uncle Steve when I was little.

I wouldn't want to stay with him. When I saw Luke last year me and him got on really well. Hell we'd probably be pretty good friends but no, too many kids.

I thought about uncle Eugene. I haven't spoken to him in years. I think my mom talked to him on the phone awhile back though. I don't know how living with him would be. I know he's got a kid who's gotta be what, six or seven years old now maybe? He's pretty strict and probably wouldn't like the idea that I dropped out and don't play sports. Then again I know he works out, or at least he did when I knew him, so he'd probably enjoy that. I thought he'd be against me playing video games but when I look back and think about it he actually had shooter games on his computer and a PS3 I believe. And I remember us playing some racing type game with rockets and speed boosts. He'd probably just try and have some limit on how much I could play them daily, which I don't have a real problem with since sometimes I won't even play games for days on end and just read or relax or whatever. Actually when I think about it living with him would probably be the best option for me out of all my family.

There's my uncle Billy but I know virtually nothing about him and I only remember seeing him a handful of times.

There's uncle Chris as well. I can't really remember what his kid Brandon was like but I do remember me being there and him playing some Cod game. I think it was Mw2.

I haven't talked to my granddad in few years. The last time I saw him in person was when we first moved to our new house and my mom's car broke down so he drove all the way down in a new one to give it to her.

I remember my half sister Raven said I could always stay with her if anything happened. She's got a new born baby now too. I should actually message her I haven't talked to her in awhile. Yeah matter fact I'm gonna get up and work out and message her to see how she is right now.