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2018-07-31 07:28:30 (UTC)


I haven't written in here in two years. Boy, how two years can be filled with life's vicissitudes. I read some of my past entries here. I read about the time K. and R. were in our lives, and time when I was out looking for a job. In my last entry, I mentioned about moving back to E.'s house. Indeed, I moved in, and it took me two years to learn that it turned out to be a bad decision. The truth is, he is not at all a pleasant man now. He is cantankerous, sickly, alcoholic and a junkie. There you have it. I am so glad that in a day he will be out of my life, perhaps forever. And I think I should be glad if it is.
It was my day off yesterday. The night before, I suffered from insomnia. I didn't sleep until six in the morning. Could it have been the nerves, the stress and anxiety associated with my moving? Which will be tomorrow already! Oh god, I am so excited. It will be a new chapter of my life, living with my parents. Indeed, I am going back to my roots. And I certainly do think that I made the right choice. I have a feeling that my life will expand more. I can go to places with my parents, take trips and cruises. It would also mean that I would have more opportunity of interacting with my sisters and their lives, as I surely want to be part of theirs. Also, perhaps living with my parents will change my attitude. Now, I think that it is rather the excitement more than anything else that keeps me awake at night.
Must I call in tomorrow? I think about the money that I am going to make, but then I am sick. I currently have a skin infection on my left hip, a rather large and nasty one, which reminds me that I must get tested for HIV very well soon. And if the result turns out negative this time, I will swear never to put myself at risk for contracting HIV. And I truly do mean it this time, especially that I am going to be living with my parents in the next few years. Which brings me to wonder when would they want to eventually settle in to face the end of their lives. For they are now in their mid-seventies. I at thirty one am motivated to make more money.
Anyhow, oh, I feel so scatterbrained. The truth is it has been a long day. In addition to being awake all night, I managed to pack 90% of my stuff, most of which my clothes. I emptied my entire closet and dresser and placed them in the large box the Jaxton coffee table was shipped in. I had been watching Downtown Abbey. As a matter of fact, I finished the final episode. Anyhow, I was so deep into the world of the show that, walking to throw some trash, I ran into E. in the dining room. Anyhow, I showed emotion and E., I felt, had gotten inconsequentially upset and angry. He basically told me never to share anything to him. And god forbid, I wouldn't. My desire is that, in the future, he would be completely out of my life. Anyway, the lease for the new apartment will be for a year, and god know what could happen in a year.