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The Life Of "Mars".
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2018-04-01 09:10:41 (UTC)

Sunday, April 1st

Sunday, April 1st 2018

Life has been pretty okay. I haven't felt self conscious in months I'm pretty sure. I think that's a good sign I'm growing up. I mean I am 17 after all. I shouldn't be feeling too worried about that stuff anymore.

It's been cool having Ian living here. He's paying rent now because he's got his benefit put on so that's good. The only bad part that sometimes annoys me is he yells sometimes either from getting pissed or excited over a video game. Like, I'll just be trying to watch TV and I'll hear him through the wall.

I had a pretty odd dream last night as well. I mean, I usually have pretty weird dreams, and I can't even remember all of this one.. just the ending. It went like this, I saw my last ex, Kayla. We broke up quite a few months back. Maybe five or six? I don't know. I haven't felt any weird depression shit over her in awhile. I did at first, but it went away after awhile and I haven't had it since. But, in this dream I saw her again. Her long straight red hair that went down to her back and her blue eyes. It messed me up seeing that again man. Especially after when we uh, had sex in my dream. It was completely out of no where. It was weird. And when I woke up I was kind of pissed off at myself that I had even dreamt about her. And even more so when I felt myself feeling sad and remembering all the time together we had. Fucked up right? Her birthday was yesterday, so maybe that's why I had a dream about her? I don't know. I laughed at myself when I saw on Snapchat that she posted a necklace that she got as a gift with the caption "thank you my boy xxx" I thought as first "Wow you better not be jealous over her having a boyfriend now" only to then realize it probably wasn't even that. Pretty much everybody in her friend group refers to their girl or guy friends as "my girl/boy" so I think she was referring to Hayden, her gay friend who actually has a job. I was annoyed at myself. I still am to be honest. I was standing in the shower for what must of been almost an hour, just thinking.

Anyway that wraps this up, peace.