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The Life Of "Mars".
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2017-08-20 15:40:30 (UTC)


Monday 21st August, 2017

I saw Kayla on Friday. It didn't go quite as well as I would of liked it too. I was there with Laura and Hayden, a lot of the night was Kayla being sad because her and Stacy were arguing. I didn't really know what to say or to do to comfort her. I felt like a bit of a dick by the end because I probably didn't make her feel any better. At some point she went off by herself and Hayden told me that she probably wanted some time to herself to think. I didn't really know how I felt about leaving a pretty young girl by herself at night, but it was still fairly early and there were still a lot of people in town. He told me that she told him that she feels like all these bad things are happening to her at once. Her and ex best friend Stacy fighting. Her aunty.

Here, let me give some context and backstory to why she's so upset over Stacy. Stacy was her old long time best friend I guess, and Kayla told me that when she used to be too scared to stay with her mom because her step dad Steve would be punching walls in and raging she'd stay with Stacy. She said that she was like a sister to her. Personally, I think Stacy is just being a bitch. I'm not even saying that out of favoritism either.. I don't know if Kayla should be holding on to her as much as she is right now. I'd say let her go, I've pretty much told her that myself.

Her aunty on the other hand has I guess been having goes at Kayla since she's been talking to her mom more, and saying things like "I'll send you to go back and live with your mom." whenever they have an argument. She doesn't seem too fond of her mom, but it's Steve who she's scared of I guess.

Anyway that happened, she stayed out on a footpath in town while we quickly headed to Burger King since it was just across the road. Quickly ate, saw two kids who I got along with from school before I dropped out and talked to em. Harrison and Riley. I talked to em outside, but then as I glanced over to the road I saw Kayla wasn't there anymore. Alarms started going off in my head so I quickly said bye and went back inside where I told Hayden and Laura. I insisted on one of them calling her immediately as I then pulled out my phone and messaged her "Where are you? We're worried." No reply. She eventually picked up and it turns out she was close by and at a swing set behind Burger King is. I waited a few minutes but I got worried after a little so I said fuck it and went out to see her.

She looked really pretty, and also kind of sad. I mean, she was sad. We didn't talk much, we kind of just sat on the swings. There was a rugby game going on across the river where one of the stadium lights illuminated the swing set. It looked like something straight out of a movie scene. I broke the silence by trying to comfort her in whatever way I could think of. I knew "it'll be alright" would just be some cliche saying. I told her, "I know what you're going through. With Stacy I mean. I used to have a friend years ago who was like a brother to me, I was really close with him family. I'd go to all their family events, we'd stay at each others houses almost weekly. Later, we just fell off. Started arguing. We even fought at some stage." I was talking about Tyrone. Sure, that was when I was young but considering we were pretty much friends for the whole of primary school until the end I thought he counted. I then went over Jaime, said mostly the same stuff. She didn't say anything. She just kept looking out.

At some point while we were there I turned around and saw a man coming up behind us. While the place was pretty lit up, it also had a lot of dark spots and you couldn't really see anyones face. Guy coming up behind two young kids in a scheduled place. Didn't sit well with me. I heard of a trick that Latham, Shane's friend, said once. Just act like you have a weapon. I made it pretty clear to him that I had seen him, but even after that he still kept walking forward. However, I reached into my pocket and held my phone in my pocket in a way that it'd make a shape of some sorta possible weapon. Either he wasn't planning anything and I was just being jumped and he decided to for whatever reason turn around in that moment, or he thought I actually had one. Either way, it kind reinforced the idea of me not really wanting Kayla to be out in town by herself.

We headed back to Burger King, everything was fine from there. Kayla sort of lightened up, I don't know why but I felt like some sort of anxiety kick in where I just felt nervous as shit around them. We walked around, it was fun. Took some photos. It was all, really nice. Hayden at to go home, didn't do much after that. I went home around 11PM.

I didn't talk to her the day after, for whatever reason. I just suddenly felt really sad. No real idea why. I still sort of do to be honest. Messaged her today. Got mostly a lot of one worded responses and just overall uninterested in a lot of the things I said. That's the vibe I got at least. Maybe I'm looking too much into it. Then again, Lillie messaged me before asking "Do you still like Kayla?" I said, "Yeah of course. I like her a lot." which I then a few minutes later followed up with "dunno if she still likes me though." She basically just told me that I guess I made her mad because I did a shit "goodbye." I've never been good at doing like dramatic goodbyes. It's always just been "Alright see ya later bro." and that's what I did. I saw Kayla, Lillie Bella and I think Abby had some girls night so I guess that was probably brought up there. What I said to Lillie about me liking her a lot will probably be brought up too at school. Doesn't bother me though. I'm genuinely considering asking her out next time I see her in person, maybe. I'll test the waters a little longer.

Peace, -Mars