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The Life Of "Mars".
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2017-03-05 08:01:01 (UTC)

Too Late For That

Sunday 5th March, 2017

I've been listening to RadioHead a lot recently, well when I'm just relaxing. Otherwise I'm listening to rap.

A few days ago Hayley texted me something pretty unexpected. I'll copy it from my phone.

Hayley: "You should move down here one day. Between you and me Shane and I are really going to miss you being around."

I basically said thanks and that maybe I could visit one day.

She then says this,

Hayley: "Y'know, imma cry the day I get on that plane. And it won't be because of Laura or any of that, it'll be all of the regret y'know, choosing Brodie over you. And then walking out like this, I'm sorry "Mars". "

I really didn't know how to respond to that it took me minutes to reply simply because I was shocked. I didn't know if I should of said "Yeah you fucked up" or "You hurt me" or whatever. I realized I'd be being petty if I did that, it wouldn't of helped anyhow. So I said, which was a little bit of a lie.

Me: "I mean I dunno, what happened happened. It's okay. I don't hold it against you."

Hayley: "I hold it against myself. And I always will."

Me: "It's okay Hayley, don't worry about it."

Hayley: "Goodnight "Mars" "

Me: "Goodnight Hayley"

Truth is it wasn't okay, but there was no real point in arguring about it. She was going to be gone by the end of March anyway. I left it at that and haven't really tried talking with her since,

I've been getting better with my editing recently too and I'm getting some pretty good feedback from people. I guess I'll be going to school tomorrow too.

I had a pretty weird dream about Shane too the other day. I can't remember quite what happened in it since it did happen a few days ago, but I know it made me feel pretty sad. I think it's knowing that Shane has had a hard life, even though he hasn't really told me anything about it, I know about it from Hayley. I know his dad used to beat him badly. I know that he was pretty violent when he was young. I think it was because of the troubles going on at home. I feel bad knowing that deep down, I think he's a nice kid. A nice kid with a lot of demons from a bad and rough past. It's not a pity kind of sad for him. It's just, it's hard to explain. It's knowing that he probably deserved a better upbringing then what he got in early childhood.

I really do wish he didn't move, because truth be told I felt more of a connection with him then some of my other friends who I've known a lot longer. Maybe I will be able to visit him, one day.

I've also began watching Adventure Time again, I used to really like that show and I still do and it seems they've made a lot more episodes since I last saw it which was a few years ago.

This girl who I met through Hayley called Jess keeps on texting me a lot, and she says she wants to hang out. I've got a hunch that she has a crush on me, but I don't like her back in that way. In all honesty I don't know if I'd care or not if we stopped texting. She lives kind of far away anyway, I dunno.

Anyway I should finish off this entry, I want to go watch TV for a little. I should probably try and go to bed since I do have school tomorrow.

Peace, -Mars