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The Life Of "Mars".
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2016-12-22 10:01:14 (UTC)

She Still...

Thursday 22nd December, 2016

She, Hayley, she still has a grip on me. A hold, an influence on how I feel about things.

We talked tonight, and a friend of hers was having some serious problems. I'm not gonna go into detail with what was happening with him but he had some stuff where he was on the phone crying to Hayley.

She messaged me a screenshot just before of Brodie saying that he loved her. I don't know how she felt about that, I mean I felt that I... well. I think love is a very strong word to properly use... but I did, I do, have feelings for her. But, I don't think she'd care if she truly knew.

There was another screenshot of her and Shaina, and Shaina dated Brodie in the past. And I guess he said something to her about him wanting to date Shaina again at some point? I don't know. It wasn't very clear.

I want her badly, I do. But I don't think I'll ever have her in that way again, or if I even should. If I deserve to. Or if it would even be good for me mentally.

Peace, -Mars