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The Holidays Begin

Wednesday 30th November, 2016

So I've decided that I can't at all be bothered with my exam tomorrow for classics. So I'm not going to go to it. I mean I've already passed the year, that's all I really care about. I don't care for earning anything more then what I really need to. Not for exams at least, if I were in more of a motivated, happier mood I might be. But that's not really the case right now.

So far it looks like my sleep clock has been set to where I wake up around 4-5am and go to sleep around 8-10pm. Which I kinda of like, but it also feels weird because I keep thinking it's late afternoon when really it's only mid day. Since I'm usually otherwise so accustomed to waking up sometime in the afternoon.

I edited and uploaded a video that I worked pretty hard on and I'm pretty happy with the results. I'm still learning how to sync stuff with the beats so things don't look totally smooth, but since that was my first time syncing stuff with the beat I'm pretty content with it's result.

My mom brought me some Skittles today, so I guess that's worth mentioning?

Hayley... Hayley Hayley Hayley. That's the girl who I still can't really seem to get out of my head. I saw her post something on Snapchat this morning with the caption "Hope your fucking happy". Woah. Dunno if that's supposed to be directed at me or what? Ah, she hurts and confuses me. But I think that she's worth being hurt over... that is if we can move past this stuff.

I'd think that'd I'd try and spend a lot of my holiday off with her. I mean I've got got until sometime in February next year until I go back. I don't know what I'm really going to do. I don't want to spend all that time playing videos games and being inside. That kinda bores me now. I was really hoping I'd spend a lot of my time with Hayley.

I wonder if she misses me or thinks of me at all, in a good way I mean. Or if I was like - if she regrets meeting me? I don't know. I'm just pretty emotionally drained to be honest. Like even my body feels weak now.

I kind of wanted to draw and write something earlier. Kinda like how Hayley did. But I feel if I then did that, and then posted it, it might make things worse between us. Might drain her more when she's actually stressed y'know? Maybe I will and just post it briefly to Snapchat with like 1 second on the photo. I mean I don't care too much about people seeing it. They won't know who it's about. Or if it's even about someone, and not just a piece of writing for fun. As well as my phone is too crap to take high quality photos so you wouldn't even be able to read a whole lot.

I think I'm going to start writing frequently again. I find it pretty fun to do, I just haven't in the last few days because I've felt drained.

This is now the latest I've stayed up in about 2 days now, which is 10:18PM so I might try and go to bed now. Or I'll watch TV. Dunno.

-Peace, Mars