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The Life Of "Mars".
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2016-11-15 11:02:06 (UTC)

Caveman Days

Tuesday 15th November, 2016

I haven't been able to update this diary for awhile because my internet went out on the 5th of September. I don't know the real reason on why my modem broke but it did, and when we got a new one that one was broke too. Yeah we got delivered a broken modem. My mom complained to the company and we were sent a new one late, it only just arrived today. So I need to catch myself up on everything that has happened.

First I'm gonna start with what happened the day before my internet went down. I've been on study leave for awhile now and it was Hayley's 14th birthday. For the record there's only a one year age gap between us, as I was born in 2001 and she was born in 2002, and I was 13 for a little bit last year, so yeah. Anyway it was her birthday. She spent the day and night at her grandmas with basically all of her friends. She seemed really happy, which in turn made me happy. I tried to almost distance myself from her at times, I wasn't trying to be a dick or anything I just thought that she should remember the day as a time that was spent with friends and family, rather then being on the phone texting some dude y'know? Anyway at some point we're calling each other and talking and her grandma walks into the room. I don't even remember how it exactly happened but I somehow got into a conversation with her grandma. Except I probably sounded awkward because I was pretty tired and I couldn't hear her properly since Hayley was holding the phone and it sounded like she was on the other side of the room. Plus I didn't really have time to properly mentally prepare myself to speak to her family. So I don't know if I made the best impression with her. Heh.

We facetimed too later in the night, and that was pretty fun too. I think she's becoming less shy around me. I mean she used to preach about how much she hated phone calls, so I guess we're making progress together. I'm really glad that she enjoyed her night. She's honestly an amazing person, she deserves to be happy.

At some point I randomly decided to check Jaime's Facebook. Dunno why. I think it was because I hadn't seen him post, like, comment or anything like that in a few days and I was kinda curious. I think a part of me suspected that he had actually deleted me, and I was right. He had.
I was pretty confused I mean Jaime and I were going through a rough patch yeah but this was the first time ever. I wanted to mention it to Hayley, but I didn't. I thought it was probably make her worry about me and him since she's the kind of girl who cares a lot like that, so I decided to not tell her at all. Didn't wanna ruin her night y'know? But not too long after she messaged me a screenshot of her and Jaime talking, where he basically said that he didn't want to be friends with me anymore. That, "something inside me is telling me not to be friends with him anymore." I thought that was pretty fucked really. I was pissed to be blunt. I mean I've tried sticking with Jaime whenever he got upset, I've helped him when he talked about things like suicide and other shit. I would check up on him hourly and even offered to let him sleep at my house if it made him feel better. So for him to kinda ditch me like that after the first time I got pissed at him kinda fucked with my head really. I mean he's been my best friend for two years, and my friend for almost four now. I didn't think one argument would fuck us up like that. But I mean it's his choice I guess. And sadly, I think I wasn't too surprised that he felt that way. Sad yeah, but not surprised. As much as I wanted to vent to Hayley I just tried to assure her that none of this was her fault, or that it was nothing to worry about. She didn't need to stress over my problems. Especially not on her birthday. So we left it there.

The next day was pretty normal, nothing big really. At sometime around midnight my internet just stopped working. At the time I figured maybe the service was temporarily down or whatever so I decided to go to sleep. The next morning I woke up and the internet still wasn't going. We reset it and it'd come on for maybe ten seconds but eventually it stopped coming on all together. We called up our service provider and they sent us out a new one, but that took a few days. When it did arrive, it was broken. Yeah, they sent us a broken modem. So we had to wait again.

Waiting during that time was torture. I was bored beyond belief. I'm used to watching most of my TV on the Ps4. Y'know stuff like Youtube, Netflix, and other streaming websites. But without internet I couldn't do that. So I kinda had to watch the shitty shows on TV. Some were okay, like Bar Rescue, 7 Year Swap, and The Walking Dead, but other then that I tried watching the news and focusing on my study for exams. I didn't really play my games all too much. I don't even play them that much in the first place. But I didn't really feel like them.

Not being able to talk to Hayley made things really hard. It's like she's become such a necessary part to my day that without her it feels incomplete. I think I just tried to sleep a lot of the boredom off.

This is going to sound kind of creepy, mostly because it is, but I'm on study leave and Hayley isn't... which means she then walks home from school while I'm at home. I usually try and walk at least once a day for maybe thirty minutes just for exercise but I twice decided to walk right when Hayley should be close to coming home and I'd kinda walked on the path that she does so we'd run into each other. I dunno. The first time it was to tell her why I hadn't been on in a few days, the second time I just really missed her and wanted to see her.

I had an English exam I think Tuesday? I'm not sure I haven't really been keeping track of the days. But I had a English exam at some point. I think I did pretty well for the most part. I should pass. When I got to school it didn't start for about an hour so I talked to Hayley using the school wifi. It was cute. We both had sent each other good night messages each night of the week, even though we couldn't really see them until I got wifi.

At some point during all this Trump got elected as president. I'm not really going to give my political stance, I think for the most part America got a shitty deal and had to choose between two pretty crap candidates. We needed my man Bernie in office yo. But personally I think maybe it was good that Trump was elected as president. But I dunno, I'm from New Zealand so I'm not too educated on both of their political policies and ideas. The idea of a wall is fucking stupid that's for sure.

There was a massive earthquake the hit New Zealand the other night. As well as a mini tsunami that hit the east cost of the south island. It actually ended up cancelling my science exam. Apparently we get a derived grade from the year where they mark me on how I've done this year; and I've done pretty well passing every test except for one that I didn't try to do so I think I should pass? The biggest earthquake we got was about 7.5 magnitude I think. Then there were a bunch more, over 35 I think, ranging from about 4.5 to 6.5. 5.5 being the average. We've been having after shocks like crazy. I think Hayley's kitchen floor got cracked because of it.

When I got my internet back today the first thing I did was message Hayley. I was so fucking happy to see her. Later when I scrolled up I saw that she wrote me a massive fucking paragraph that was so nice and kind and shit it made me so happy you have no idea yo. Heh. I really do like her a lot. We've been talking for awhile now. It's weird. I actually do feel attached to her. Fuck I really do wanna hug her badly. Soon I guess.

I was just talking to a friend of mine who is in Auckland right now, and he wants to get into the whole gang shit with Black Power and the Crips, since a lot of his family are into the sort of thing. I tried to pull him out of it. Regardless of all the shit he's been through, and there's been a lot, I genuinely think he's a good kid just trying to fit in and make his way in the world. I probably sounded like an annoying mom or some shit. I'll copy and paste something I told him.

"Being in a gang doesn't make you hard dude. I think most gang members are bitches anyway to be honest. It's just posing with weapons and talking shit. Then if anything does happen it's usually them jumping somebody. Jumping people makes shit unfair and that ain't hard. I mean sure dude, the gang life might be exciting for maybe a few years. But you gotta think long term dude. What? You think being a hard ass gang member is gonna help your life when you're old and frail? You think it's a safe way to live? Dude you could end up getting stabbed. Shot. Beaten up. You could end up spending years of your life in prison. Bro, I've known you for so long ever since year 7 and you're a good guy. You've just gotta get your head in the right place sometimes. You're not "a little bitch" and fuck what anybody else says about you. I don't think the gang life is something that you really would want, or is even worthy of you man. Look. You've got family in Auckland who are willing to give you an apprenticeship. Dude you've already got more opportunities then a lot of people at this age. Seize it man. Don't throw it away just because you want to go get high and fuck with a bunch of nobodies who won't go anywhere in life."

He's supposed to be coming back down to Nelson in a week or so for final goodbyes so I think he might maybe stay at mine for the night. I wanna help him through shit.

Well, I've got a big exam for history this Friday and I got revise a lot, so fuck me... Dates, names, quotes and shit. I gotta remember those mostly. As well a other details. We've gotta write about the French Revolution, and apart of that was caused by the Enlightenment which I know a lot about so I'll try and focus on that. We've also gotta write about something else of our choosing that we've learned in class. I'm deciding still if I should go with Parkihaka, a Maori settlement that was among the first to do the whole "peaceful non violent resistance" thing. Or the Rainbow Warrior. Which was New Zealand basically saying that we didn't want nuclear weapons in New Zealand to the USA. So that'll be interesting. I should be fine though I hope.

Guess I'm gonna end it off here.
Night, -Mars.