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The Life Of "Mars".
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2016-11-03 03:42:41 (UTC)

Secrets Revealed

Thursday 3rd November, 2016

This happened yesterday but I didn't really have the time or energy to write, so let's wind back the clock to yesterday afternoon, shall we?

Me, Hayley and her friend Shania were talking in a group chat on Facebook when Hayley asked if my mom had shouted at her little sister. I immediately thought of her schizophrenia, but didn't want to say anything. It was more like I didn't want to believe it because this would be the first incident this year that I knew about. I kept at her with more questions to see if it was really my mom, and it sounded like it was. Dark skinned, my house, dark hair. What had happened is her younger sister apparently was being loud when she was saying goodbye to her friend. I assume my mom was asleep because she is practically nocturnal, so her being suddenly woken up would of caused her to be angry and stressed out, which kinda brings out her schizophrenic side. Apparently she didn't say anything bad though, just "Shush!" but she said it loudly and aggressively, which would of been kinda scary for a nine year old girl.

Hayley's family was kind of freaking out over the whole situation. I mean if somebody yelled at my kid I'd be pissed too. They knew it was my house. My mom. I felt I had to tell Hayley the truth about my mom. I never planned on telling her, or anybody. I've never told anybody in real life, only a few very close online friends. So for somebody in real life to then know that secret was hard for me. I wasn't breathing straight and my arms were shaking as I wrote it. That sounds pathetic I know but for me that really was hard to say.

In the past when my mom has had schizophrenic outbursts at people, they didn't understand that she couldn't help herself. It wasn't really her fault. They just saw her as a crazy old bitch. A mental patient. Somebody who needed to take their pills. Hayley didn't see it like that. She was sympathetic, kind, supportive and understanding. That's what I love about her. She's such a kind soul even after the bullshit she's been through.

She wanted to tell her mom just because her mom still didn't know the reason, and reluctantly I said she could. Her mom was really kind and understanding about it too. It made me really happy that she took it like she did. For once, in so long, my mom was looked at somebody who has a disability and wasn't just a mean old woman. To them they didn't let the schizophrenia define her as a person. More it was like something extra, like how you don't let a cancer survivors cancer define them. So just her and her mom know now. Which is fine, I guess. I trust them.

Later when I was talking to Hayley around eight at night and I made a joke about Shane, her older brother, and they acted like he was super pissed and wanted to fight me. He's like, "Meet me at the park in ten minutes." I know Shane is somewhat violent so there was a slight chance that he did actually want to fight me. But we have been pretty chill with each other in the past so I wasn't that worried about it. If he actually did want to fight however I'd probably get my ass beat. He does the whole lifting thing and is in cadets and is twice my height, and I occasionally lift weights. So yeah, I'd probably lose if he was being serious. But the way I look at it is right now we're kids pretty much, the worse thing that will really happen is I'll feel sore for a day or two, and he's they're human too; which means that I could still at least hurt them as well. That's not to say I can't handle myself by the way, I've been in a few and and I haven't lost yet, but I'm not at all tough.

I'm getting side tracked, anyway I met him a bit before the park and he's like "Oh so I see you've been talking shit." and I said I was only kidding but it's whatever. He said he was gonna give me a chance to run and I said I wasn't going to run away. (I don't think I could of out ran him anyway). He said he was then going to beat me and I said "Well come on then hit me." and then he started laughing.

He was just playing with me, almost immediately I heard Hayley laughing down the road at the park. We walked down together to the park and there was Hayley playing on the swing with her little sister. It was dark too by the way, not so dark that you couldn't see but it was dark enough for the street lights to be on. We sorta played and talked there, and Shane said I was ballsy for not trying to bitch my way out of it. So I guess that's a compliment? I was sorta shy just because Shane and her little sister were there, I didn't want to say something that might set them off so I kind of layed back. But we still talked regardless. We were only there for about ten minutes though because I told my mom I was just going for a small walk, and she'd get worried if I didn't come back soon.

Right, now I'll talk about today's events.

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Apparently today was the last day of school for us seniors, I thought we still had Friday to go but I guess not. For the most part today was very chilled. Not pointless either, just chilled. I actually kind of enjoyed it.

Me and Hayley have been getting on a lot better by the way, just thought I should mention that before I get into things.

I got to the bus stop early and right behind me was Hayley. We talked for maybe five minutes before the other kids started showing up. She's really shy and get's kind of anxious so I guess the idea of "Ooo she's talking to a boy." kinda threw her off. Since the two colleges here in Nelson are boys only and girls only.

Me and Ian got off at the bus stop in town, walked to Mc Donalds and brought a frozen coke and then walked to school. We missed out on first period because we had a practice assembly for tonights award ceremony, which I'm not going to by the way. Anyway we just practiced for that, clap when that happens, stand and sing when that happens. That sort of thing.

After I had maths, except I passed maths for the year so I basically just sat there on my phone. Jaime was there too, I tried saying hi to him except he didn't say anything back. Or even acknowledge my existence, again. Ian and Tyler told me that he was kind of talking shit about me. He said something along the lines of, "Trey hasn't been at school because he's afraid of me." Which is bullshit. I thought that to be pretty weird because I thought me and him sussed everything out but he's still on his petty shit.

It kinda pisses me off really. I've helpt Jaime through so much shit. I think I've been more supportive to him then any other of his friends, but then he sorta turns on me after one argument. Whatever I guess.

Morning tea was largely uneventful. Nothing worth mentioning.

I had food technology, again nothing interesting, and then science, nothing interesting either.

At lunch me and Tyler ditched school and walked down to the diary at Victory. He brought two drinks and I brought some candy floss and some gum. Then we headed back to school.

English was kind of uneventful too. Except at the end I thanked the teacher for being a great teacher for the year, because he was. I said that he was probably one of my favorite teachers and I liked the way he got things done. He wasn't somebody who I bonded with, I mean like we just didn't really talk mostly because I'm shy with most people and don't make conversation first with people I don't really know, even my teachers. But I still liked him. Anyway I said that he got a huge smile across his face, and said thank you and that I was a hard working student. I'm at the top of that class by the way, heh. I offered to help carry some of the boxes he had in the class that he needed to move because they were heavy and he's kind of an old man and I thought it'd be a dick move to let an old man carry that by himself. So I carried it for him and then he wished me luck on my upcoming exams, and I left. I almost missed the bus because I was helping him.

Well now I'm home now, I've got my music playing as I write this and I'm occasionally talking to Hayley every few minutes. She's playing games with her family which is fine, I think I'll end things off here for now. I might write some more tonight and go into the beginning of intermediate.

Peace,
-Mars.