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The Life Of "Mars".
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2019-01-17 06:28:01 (UTC)

Brief Cracks

Thursday January 17th

I heard back from the Careers website I was told to contact and I've got mostly good news from it, there's courses I can study in Nelson for psychology, the problem is you need either at least NCEA level 2 or two be twenty or older. So, my plan is to go to some random course and just get the NCEA levels. I'll probably just go to the one Ian went to considering it's free and all.

Speaking of Ian, he did something really nice for me today. My headset has been broken for the past week or two. It's still useable it's just for some reason it'd randomly go all high pitched and staticy for no real reason. But only I'd hear it, and no anyone else. It wouldn't be too bad if it wasn't for me playing For Honor and being 4v1ed just to then have a high pitched noise randomly start playing through my headset. So since I've been complaining about it Ian randomly decided to get me a Turtlebeach headset. Like what the fuck? Lucky me. I seriously wasn't expecting it all. He said it was an early birthday gift since my birthday is coming up. It's a little different to what I'm used to but overall it's really good.

Speaking of other events today, my mom has been really irking me. One, she basically did the whole "cleaning" routine that pissed me off so much at the start of the year in Ian's room. It wasn't quite as bad, but she still messed up some of his stuff. This is despite me telling her time and time again to not touch our stuff and that whenever she tries to clean, nine times outta fucking ten she actually ends up making the place dirtier. It pisses me off that I tell her she's annoying us by doing this, and that she then gets mad at me for it. Like no, don't touch our stuff. You're the problem here. It's like I'm dealing with a child sometimes because she refuses to ever accept she's at fault and always find something else to blame it on.

At some point today, a bit before Ian came home she started randomly fucking yelling about something. Keep in mind we had no argument what so ever at this point, hell I had hardly talked to her at this point today. But I hear her yelling non stop saying some incoherent crazy shit. So I eventually snapped and yelled out for her to shut the fuck up. Which then led her to yelling even louder. I couldnt quite make out what she said but she said something about either killing me or killing someone else. Yikes. Probably someone else, but with how we've been getting on recently I don't see her threatening me as out of the question.

Then just a bit earlier I went into the hallway because I heard the chickens were inside (I don't like them inside) and as I went out my mom was storming out in a rage outside and shut the door behind her. I then heard her yelling some of her crazy shit about people not listening, or whatever. Once I had got them out the back door I just went back to my room, I couldn't be bothered dealing with her.

I'd like to think I'm reasonbly good at keeping my cool with most things, in fact I think it's genuinely hard to properly piss me off, but my mom really does manage to piss me off, but I'll still try and keep calm. But then I'll get this brief crack in any form of posture and air of calmness that I have and just snap. I've gotten better at still keeping calm when I'm pissed, well, I mean I can avoid yelling and stuff like that, sometimes. But I dunno. If I keep it up for too long and I keep having the thing that's pissing me off near me I'll actually snap and yell. I've heard that keeping stuff like that bottled in is bad for you, but I don't know how else I'd manage it. I've never broken anything over being angry (although I have punched a wall as much as I hate to admit it) but I don't know how I'd let it out without actually doing anything that would make the situation worse.

Besides all the angry depressing shit, I've been watching Konosuba again which just got a dub. I was pretty scared at first not gonna lie, but it's actually really good. Kazuma's voice in the dub is a lot higher compared to the dub, but it still works pretty well. Yeah overall I'd say it's been pretty good so far. I'm on episode six now. I'm sort of debating if I want to keep watching or go to sleep. But it's only 7:50PM so eh.

Oh yeah, Ian also brought us fish and chips.

Ben also messaged me today saying that me him and Ian should hang out this weekend. I asked Ian and he wants to do it next weekend since he'll have money then so now that's when it's planned.

Me and Hayley were supposed to hang out sometime this month, but I don't see that happening. Plus secretly she's getting scarier and scarier to me. Like, she was already hella cute when we went out all those years ago, but now she's on a whole other level of cute and popular. Like I don't think I'm bad looking by any means and I'm pretty self confident, but she's just wow now. Hell even the way she dresses is wow. Shit, even her friends are cute. It'd kind of make me nervous being around her and her friends, not gonna lie.

Oh yeah a little side story, so I consider myself to be a pretty good For Honor player. I'll usually drop the highest amount of kills with a lead of around 10 so I think that's good. I have been whooped by some better players though, but I rarely run into anyone who actually smacks me around.

Anyway, yesterday someone on the enemy team messaged me basically saying I was trash and could only fight if I out numbered him. 1. He was wrong, I wiped the floor with him in multiple one on one fights. 2. It's a 4v4 game mode, as much as it annoys me fighting multiple people at once sometimes it is a 4v4 game mode, not 1v1. So he's basically messaging me saying I'm trash blah blah blah and that I need to get better. Usually whenever I get messages from angry players I try and just keep the messages short, usually telling them to just fuck off and go practice to be better. So I whoop him, get MVP and I tell my friend to back us out because I really don't like fighting toxic games where I have to actually focus so I don't have to worry about some fag spamming "Wow Wow Wow" or "Good Fight Good Fight Good Fight" whenever they kill me. He sends me another two messages but I couldn't be bothered responding. Fast forward to today and I run into him again and I went out of my way to make sure I whooped him in Every. Single. Fight. So much so that I'd tell my friends to back off so he had no excuses whatsoever that I out numbered him. He managed to kill me once. One time. It got so bad he eventually just gave up and whenever I went to fight him he'd either stand still or just spam emote. He got about 12 kills, I got about 40. I couldn't help but message him afterwards saying "I thought I was trash?" He didn't respond of course, despite being so willing to message me after I had left yesterday. I dunno, I found it pretty funny. I reckon he was a little kid too with how much he used "XD" whenever he messaged me.

Anyway, that's all.