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2015-12-26 15:43:13 (UTC)

I was downstairs when K., A. and M. arrived..

I was downstairs when K., A. and M. arrived for C.'s party. K. was seemingly cold, unresponsive and slight towards me despite my being warm to him. I tried a few times to strike a genial conversation yet he kept on an icy demeanor, which sent me into a preservation mode, into a mode of thinking: 'Why am I even here, with these people who don't deserve my company.' So I went back upstairs into my room, locked and closed my door, and never went out again for the rest of the night. I felt happy rather to have missed the party, happier even to be in the company of Gibbons and Ayn Rand, rather than flushing out the substance of reason, catering blindly to people's foolishness, senselessly bringing about bouts of empty laughter. Though F. knocked at my door and I let him in my room. We talked. Why aren't you downstairs? he asked. 'I'm exhausted,' I said. 'I worked twelve hours.' Then I told him my issue with K. F. doing well; still has few Kaposi's sarcomas dotted around his body; hasn't done any chemotherapy treatment; has been seeing a therapist for depression, which I suppose was brought on by his personal struggle from living with HIV at a young age. Anyhow, the next day I got up at 5am again for work. Never had I been so busy at work that day, constantly on to this task or that; the holiday craze. I got off work at 2pm, came home and went over to E.'s to walk the dog. I texted J., the roommate, beforehand to let him know that I was coming over. J. had put up a couple of holiday reindeer ornaments on the front patio, which lights up in blue; also an inflatable snowman. I went to the store and bought what I thought I needed for my cooking spaghetti for dinner. I made a pasta sauce without having any recipe to base it with. It turned out okay. Watched Beetlejuice. J. and C., the guy whom J. 'has the hots' for, left that night, perhaps to C's place. I spent Christmas eve alone, sleeping. E.'s flight was delayed which meant that he missed his connecting flight at the airport in Atlanta. Rough day of travelling for him. He finally was able to get a flight to LAX; got an Uber to take him all the way down to San Diego for $170; arrived at 4:30 in the morning, knocked at the bedroom window which woke me up. Thankfully I was there to let him in, for his keys were in his luggage which he did not get at the airport till the next day. I did not go back to sleep after having been woken up at 4:30, instead I drove back to my place for I had to go to work. Christmas day and C. and I carpooled to work. A short day at work. After work, I came home to rest, then headed to E.'s. I did not cook steak as we originally planned, and rather put it off till tomorrow. I fried pork chops instead. Dinner in front of the TV. Watched Adele's concert; a superb performance, commanding the stage with just her presence, and her voice crooning her ballad songs. Then I was off to bed a quarter before ten. Woke up at 5:30 this morning and now I am at work.